12 September 2016

In Which Jeanette's Dental Hygiene and Adulthood Are Called Into Question

Last week, I was putting toothpaste on my toothbrush when I noticed a little black fleck in the bristles. At first I freaked out thinking it was mold, but eventually I realized it seemed to be a speck of pepper or something similar, and tried to pick it out. Try as I might, I couldn’t get it out. It was stuck. Again grossed out, I licked the toothpaste off the brush then threw it in the trash before going to retrieve a new toothbrush from the cupboard.

Growing up, my mom always had certain items on hand at all times - peanut butter, chocolate chips, and toothbrushes all immediately come to mind. I tend to keep those items on hand myself, as they’re all critical necessities you’re really in a pickle if you run out of. But somehow, on this fateful day, I found myself without a toothbrush… after having already put my old one in the trashcan. 

I have to tell you, this is very uncharacteristic of me. I always have spare toothbrushes squirreled away. Ralph’s has them on sale 10/$10 pretty much monthly, and I usually grab one or two. Just days before, I’d been at the store and remembered my last deodorant was almost out, so I’d gotten a two pack because I like to be prepared so much. That’s just how I was raised.

Frustrated, and running late for work, I went to dig through my purse, where I usually have a travel toothbrush for when I forget or am running late and leave without brushing my teeth (gross, I know). I found the pouch, but it was empty… must have left it in Utah in July.

I thought about trying to just brush my teeth with my finger, because at this point the toothpaste in my mouth was kind of melting and I just needed to get to work, but somehow that seemed worse than spitting it out and waiting to get to work and brushing my teeth with the travel toothbrush I keep in my drawer (a fine plan, but somehow when I plan on that I tend to forget or get busy, and end up not brushing my teeth at all). 

In a last ditch effort, I dragged out my luggage, hoping to find a travel toothbrush in there. I didn’t have high hopes because the toothbrush that should have been in my purse was purchased expressly because I didn’t have a toothbrush at Lake Powell. But I was desperate. After unzipping the bag I was dismayed. Not because of a lack of toothbrush, but because in this travel bag I found not one, not two, not even three.. I found FOUR almost brand new sticks of deodorant. For those counting at home, including the two I’d purchased in the past two days, that is a total of SIX brand new deodorant sticks in my home. And not a solitary toothbrush.

Okay that’s not true, because in the corner of the duffle I found a cheap toothbrush wrapped in a plastic bag that I finally used to brush my teeth that fateful day… and today, I at last remembered to buy fresh, new clean toothbrushes to replenish my stock. But this whole experience has really shown me how far I am from being a full-fledged adult. I was sure I had my stuff together, but all I have is a whole lot of deodorant and not much else. 


Marcy said...

My best laugh in a long time. :)
And true confessions, I'm not sure we have any new unused toothbrushes left right now. There is a small grundle sitting by my bathroom sink that I was planning to stick in the dishwasher last night and forgot. But I don't know that anyone would trust them anyway because they aren't in a new package . . . . guess I'd better put them on the list. I did just buy a case of peanut butter on Saturday, and we do have chocolate chips . . . at least we did on Monday.

Marcy said...

Now all stocked up on toothpaste and toothbrushes! (And the old ones have gone through the dishwasher too.)